Friday, November 7, 2008

dear stephen


happy birthday my sweet boy. i cannot believe that you have already been in my life for one year. you are my little mamma's boy. it is difficult for me at times because i feel as if i am not satisfying your needs because you whine & cry quite often with me but play happily with your dad. that is ok, we are who we are and i love the relationship that we have. you wake me up still several times a night. this makes me nuts!! however i see the beauty in it, that what you want is to be close to me, to be comforted back to sleep. i'm sorry to tell you that we are starting sleep training again tonight. it will be a rough few days, but i think you are ready to learn to calm yourself. i think this is important, i think your rest will be better and you won' be so tired in the morning. still through the no sleep & clingy-ness you bring so much joy to my life. you love to play peek-aboo, "donk" with your brother & dad, to be tickled, to climb the stairs, take baths, to be outside. your laugh & gap toothed smile is infectious. you are so smart! when you are mad you pout and scream (loudly in a high pitch). you sometimes pinch and swat too, which we are taking care of! you like playing with your baby friends, especially the bigger ones!
a year ago today i was waiting to hear from the hospital that it was okay for me to be induced. i scheduled induction so that i could arrange for mimi to watch brother and have the help she needed on hand. finally at around 4:00 we were told it was okay to go in. we spent the day together, went on a walk, daddy ate chinese food - i STARVED! daddy & i were so excited, we couldn't wait to meet you. having mason was the best thing either of us had ever done, we loved him so much and could not wait to experience life with two loves like that, not to mention the love we have for one another. so we went to the hospital, everyone thought we were crazy for beginning so late in the day. but we did. labor was pretty quick, all in all about 5 hours. you were born around 11:30 in the evening. mimi was a little disappointed, she wanted you to come out after midnight so yall would share a birthday.
when i first saw you i thought how much you looked like mason when he was a baby. looking at pictures now i don't know that you did. i loved you instantly. i wasn't sure what to expect, when mason was born it took some time for me to adjust to the fact that i was a mommy and he was mine. i guess since i was already a mom it was instantaneous with you being the second. you had flat ears and long sideburns, daddy & i giggled. i felt great! although tired i was ready to go home & we did a day later. mason came to meet you in the hospital and was so gentle & loving. i think that is my most favorite memory up to that time, seeing him hold you & smile. sinced then there have been many times that yall are playing or hugging or laughing, that i feel love for you both & this life so strongly that, well i'm not sure what. but its better than anything else in the world.
so long story short, you are awesome. absolutely amazing. i am so grateful that you are my kid, that we get to be together as much as we do. that our family has one another, forever.
i love you
mama

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