update

i am pleased to report that the utterly awful, terrible FATIGUE that accompanies the first trimester of pregnancy has passed. i have some energy back although the getting up in the middle of the night and pressure in my pelvis has begun. i am really excited about the journey of pregnancy this time, i've always liked being with child (even when i'm a hormonal psychopath) but this time i am really searching to have a spiritual experience, or i guess allow myself to connect with the experience, and be an active participant in whats happening with me. i've started to read a book that was recommended to me from a couple of different women and am enjoying so far. its called birthing from within and i think it is going to be very helpful because i have never been in labor. meaning having been induced & taken an epidural with both babes, i have never labored non medicated, not in a hospital bed. so i have no idea what i am doing and am a little nervous, but mostly just excited. its all so new because with the boys i just didn't care really, as long as they were born healthy, it really didn't matter to me how. i'm not sure where the change came from, well that's not true. i think its had a lot to do with meeting some women that have had really empowering and also terrible birth experiences. they have given me the courage and belief in myself that as i woman i am made to do this, that i am capable of doing it and that i am worthy to fight for it. so more will be revealed on that front.
emotionally i've been pretty well, its been kind of tough at home because mike is so busy with school this summer and really feeling the pressure & stress, so after he gives to the boys he doesn't have too much energy left to deal with my pregnant ass. this too shall pass. he will graduate in may (yippee!!!) and take some time before he starts his masters. i really am so proud of him and the perseverance he has practiced with school. he started back when we moved in together EIGHT years ago, i am so happy for him that the end is in sight.
i'm really looking forward to the trip the boys and i are taking to visit my mom this weekend. Canada here we come. i will not have to cook or clean for one week....thanks mom, the queen is coming! i am only a little apprehensive about traveling alone with them, especially with the amount of "emotional outbursts" mason has been having lately. but really there is not too much i can do but try & plan well. i'll let you know how it goes.
the boys are awesome. mason has been having a rough couple of weeks, i think he is just bored and ready to go back to school. next summer will be filled with camps people, a lot of camps. i think stephens vocabulary has tripled in the last couple of months. he understands absolutely everything and can and does say pretty much anything. if you ask him where mommas baby is he pats his own belly then pats mine. such a sweet boy. i am so grateful that i get to enjoy them!
oh and congratulations to my old boss christa and the birth of her daughter. so happy for you, can't wait to meet her and hear what dawson thinks of his little sister.