by myself??? in my own house???

today was stephen's first day of mothers day out. i tell you what, five hours goes QUICK! i did NOT go to the gym b/c i was obsessing about getting the house clean. so i cleaned. for three straight hours. my entire house. for now, until well, now- my house is clean. it was nice to walk in with the boys this afternoon and have it this way, even if it will be short lived.
it was really hard dropping stevie c off today. he was really excited and happy, until he realized that i would NOT be staying. when i arrived to pick him up he was crying at the door waiting for me, she promised he didn't do that ALL day. we'll try again thursday and hopefully it will get better. which intellectually i know it will but my heart sure did hurt this morning.

on the freedom house note, we have two clients. one actually PAID rent yesterday! on the first day. i am amazed. but day 1 and we already had a glitch, the gas was turned off. so no hot water, no stove. luckily the heater is electric! this will be the beginning of a long journey of a whole bunch of fun things to deal with :-)

i found out yesterday that a woman that goes to my woman's meeting on thursday's, and who happens to be a grand-sponsee, was found dead yesterday. all i know is that she was found at the bottom of her stairs with wine bottles everywhere. it made me really sad, i did not know her well at all. i know she was young, beautiful, intelligent, successful in her career and an alcoholic that could not get & stay sober. i do not know if her death was a result of her drinking, or just a tragic accident that occurred when she happened to be drunk. regardless, she is gone and does not get another chance at the life she wanted so badly. it has really made me think about how HARD it is to get sober at first, but how EASY it is really once you have some time, some relief, some tools to live by. so now its a matter of continuing to plug away one day at a time. its easy to slip into the lie that i can coast on the things i did yesterday, but its just not so. yesterday doesn't matter (yes, i can learn & grow, strengthen my spirit & my relationship with god) but if i do nothing today then i'm not moving forward.