nic coo-ing

this was taken yesterday. nicholas is almost 7 weeks old.

nic pics

welcome nicholas buchanan!

four weeks ago today i was going into labor. i will eventually make myself type out his birth story but for now just want to post some pics of our newest addition.

he was born on january 17th at 3:14 a.m. (although his birth certificate says 2:55 a.m - more will be revealed on that when i tell his story) he was 7 pounds 12 oz and 20 1/2 inches long.

we are doing well. the boys are awesome with him. so loving and gentle and all around excited to have another brother. it seems the change has manifested itself with them fighting amongst themselves more, oh and with us too! stephen all of a sudden seems VERY two years old. but alas, he is just that! the lack of sleep is starting to catch up to me (us) almost a month later so i feel tired. but overall pretty good. the first few days postpardum were awful. awful. i felt physically ill with what i can only describe as the feeling of being homesick. but the hormonal insanity passed after about a week and has not really returned. we are trying to learn how to balance life with three children which can be pretty frustrating and overwhelming. i'm just trying to let myself make it today. i know that sooner than later this will all be old hat.

forty weeks and one day prenant

thats what the ticker says at the top of my blog. i would love to say that the last week has been one of great excitement and peace, me just enjoying being pregnant for the last time getting ready to become a family of five. but in truth it has been very difficult. i have never had such raging hormones, i have felt like a complete nut job and been acting like it. i have been filled with alot of doubt, i am tired, my body hurts and all three of the boys came down with the flu. i had this expectation i think that a) the baby would come a week before i was due, not AFTER and b) that since mike is home these days that i would be able to selfishly take care of myself, not worry about the kids, cooking, etc. it has not worked out that way, and although i have the perspective that this will be over soon, at least i am not sick, etc...etc... my FEELINGS have been out of control. i have been feeling very alone, which is in no way based in reality. i have gotten so many calls/emails/messages asking how i am and offering help. the problem is i am really bad at accepting/asking for it when i do need it. and instead of focusing on all of the love surrounding me, i see the negative. which really is just such a part of my personality, but with awareness comes the capacity for change so there is hope for me yet. i have been having these frequent angel/devil conversations with myself over the last several days and quite frankly am very sick of, well...me!
so my due date was yesterday which means that nicholas will indeed be here very soon. the boys have been without fever since yesterday afternoon so when i do go into labor i don't have to worry about my children possibly infecting the children of those that i love. there's is not much more physical planning i can do (other than rest, ha!) i'm keeping laundry clean, food in the pantry, bag is packed, carseats are in. its just the waiting game. today has been a better day i think because an end is in sight in regards to the sickness of my family.
i cannot wait to meet this little guy. i wonder what he will look like? what will it be like to feel the birth of my son as i never have before? to be a mom three times over? three times, what a blessing. i wonder how i got here, how i have the priveledge of being the mommy to three little boys? i cannot wait to see how stephen is as a big brother, what he will think of this baby. to see mason with his new little brother, he is going to be amazing. pretty much every day he says maybe the baby will come tomorrow morning mom. and he says hello to baby nicholas in my belly alot.
so..... he is not here yet, but hopefully soon! birth announcement to follow!!!

12 days and counting

i am due in twelve days. twelve. this has been, by far, the easist pregnancy out of the three. maybe because i was in such good shape when i got preggo. (keyword: WAS!) as good as i've been feeling i AM tired, my body DOES hurt and i am a TAD cranky. mostly i am really excited and anxious to meet this little man and to see how he will change our family dynamic. i've been feeling a little sad too thinking about that, how stephen won't be my littlest baby anymore and how mason will have that much more responsibility as the big brother. also this will be our last baby, unless the powers that be have other plans. i'm looking forward to trying to live in the moment and enjoy the baby time as much as possible.
i am also a little excited about the future and some plans i've been making in my head, regarding going back to school and things like that. more will be revealed on that :)
stephen DESPERATELY wants to be potty trained! he has been taking off his own diaper and going potty in his little potty all by himself. as fantastic as that is, its a little difficult because i am not in a position right now to take a few days and do the deal. i want to wait until after the baby is born and do it this summer. its pretty great though to watch his independence and self sufficiency grow.
i probably won't blog again until after baby has made his arrival. so next time i'll have a birth announcement!

ho ho ho

we really had a great christmas this year. one of the best parts has been that mike has been home so much over the last few weeks so we really have been able to spend a lot of good family time together. on christmas eve we had our friends the levits over and mikes brother kelly and his wife dmitri. we cooked up a big ole yummy bird and had sweet potato, butternut squash & pecan pie for dessert. the kids ran around and played (happily) and the adults got to relax and enjoy ourselves. santa did make it by our house this year, and really enjoyed the milk & cookies we left. the boys were so excited to wake up and see what presents were left for them. we made homemade monkey bread, yum!, and fried bacon, of course! i realize that i am talking about food a lot here, that is because not only are we big eaters around here, but one of my most favorite things is cooking with my husband. i really enjoy working side by side with him. later in the morning we went over to mimis house and had a visit with her and mikes sister leila who was in town from arizona.

shalom everyone!

choo choo

here are some pics from a little train ride we went on down in alvin before christmas. it was a neat little place that had some live christmas tunes and kettle corn. the boys LOVED it!