loving fall

it is so absolutley beautiful today. clear, warm, breezy.

i've been meaning to write but have been using my spare time attempting to crochet squares to make into a blanket. and of course in true kb fashion i am ocd-ing over it.

obviously we survived hurricane ike. it was a crazy storm, i'm grateful that when it really rolled in at 3 a.m. on saturday the 13th that it had shifted a little north, therefore it was not as strong as it was predicted to be in my area. many neighbors lost roofs, fences, etc. i am grateful that we replaced the roof when we moved in or i know we would have been flooded out like the neighbors on either side of us. driving around town over the last couple of weeks has been absolutley surreal. still at least 500,000 people do not have power-STILL. thank god for the cool fronts that have come in, although i know not cool enough to make houston texas bearable with no a/c or fans. we were among the first 100,000 out of 2+ MILLION people that got power back within a twelve hour period. statistically that blows my mind, should buy a lottery ticket.
the debris has been overwhelming, pictures of galveston and boliver overwhelming. the outpoor of community support, neighbors helping neighbors, overpowering. it occurs to me quite regularly, even at frustrating four way stops, that people are GOOD. many, many people are GOOD.
our close friends and their two children stayed with us for a week, as their power is still not restored. it was a pleasure to be able to be of service to them, but very hard to have guests for so long. mason had a blast with his buddies isaac & elijah and was sad to see them go. though he has a very hard time with variations in his schedule/routine so he was very senstive and had a rough time with it.

i had a mini breakdown in that time period. feeling powerless over my children. which, wow, i am. i am constantly reminded about surrendering to god. that the control that i think i have, i really don't. by surrendering i actually gain power, freedom, choice. i think most importantly freedom. my feelings/reactions have a way of absolutely overpowering me. and I AM NOT EFFECTIVE in ANY way when i am in that place. i can see it in my child, in my husband, in my attitude. its just a constant battle for me. trying to live humbly, asking that his will be done and trying to follow it. i don't always know what the right thing is. but i do often know what the wrong thing is - yelling at my loved ones, slamming cabinets/doors, being irritable & impatient with my 3 year old for being 3, nagging mike, being too hard on myself, not thinking of others. i'm glad there is a learning curve.

my cup runneth over. sometimes its almost too much for me to take. which i know sounds strange, especially when there are so many out there that struggle & fight just to survive. i GET to ponder things, play with my kids, do laundry, clean dishes, clean house (ha!)

the people that are teaching me to grow up have taught me that gratitude is an action. so what the hell am i doing today to show god that i am grateful?

Ike update

here in the land of sugar the winds are picking up, the skies are filled with clouds, a few rain drops sprinkled down and we just spent as much time this a.m. as we could outside, as we will be stuck inside for a couple of days. the dishes are done, laundry is clean, windows are taped and pantry is stocked. my next order of business is to get the boys down for a nap so mike and i can watch channel 13 without interruption. the last we saw we will be seeing around 40-60 mph winds and of course a whole shitload of rain. so after we relax a bit we are going to take showers and i am going to fill our closet with some supplies JUST IN CASE we end up needing to be holed up in a safe glass-free area.

wow. this is erie. 3 years ago when rita came it was just as scary, if not more so. mason was 9 months old and it was my first confrontation with the fact that, yeah, I AM RESPONSIBLE for someone else's life. now i am responsible for 2. well i guess i should say we. i am blessed with an incredible husband (who lets face it truly irritates the crap out of me on a regular basis) but my life would be less shiny, meaningful and fun without him as my partner. he went and helped out a friend of mine today and secured their patio furniture. he did not even protest or complain. he just did it. what grace.

so we're as ready as we can be.

one positive out of all of this - i have not watched msnbc in 2 days. so no politics or frustrations regarding the presidential race. because i am obsessed and need to be stopped. i have purposely not blogged about it because if i get going then i don't think i will be able to stop.

i am praying for the safety of all of us. i believe God will not give us more than we can handle. but i also believe shit happens to good people. but whatever happens as long as my little sweet angel baby boys (or big grumpy devils - whatever) are safe then it is all good.

see yall when the electricity is back.

Ike MANIA

holy crap. seriously. at 8 a.m. there was no bread, water, bananas, or gas at the local grocery. my neighbor is boarding up his house. i already had my official pre-hurricane freak out.
i'm good now.

10 months

ago today, right now, i was in labor with stephen. he is doing awesome. i think he may be working on another tooth because he is biting ALOT! its a constant struggle to get him to eat anything (except the boobie) he's still waking me up 2-3 times per night. he is crawling around on his bottom and pulling himself up on the couch. he likes to clap and play peek-a-boo. most of all he loves to play with his brother, sometimes mason obliges him.
me, well, i'm tired. all of us except mason has been sick this last week and are still fighting it. i've still managed to get my butt to the gym a couple of times which has felt really nice. i think i finally get it. going to the gym is a way that i can get some time to myself! why didn't you people tell me that, thats a language i speak! what else?
oh, we closed on the house last friday. so we have two tenants and are in the planning stages of our halfway house, wich at the latest will start up next summer when our tentants leases are up.
mason started school two weeks ago and has done really well transitioning back. the only negative is that naptime is increasingly being a struggle. and he won't do it at school, he's just not tired before 2, and thats when i pick him up. at home i try every form of bribery/threatening/deception available to get him to stay in his room for an hour.
booh hiss, i LOVE nap time. stephen and i have enjoyed our time at home together when mason is at school.