my boys

food for thought

i went to a meeting this morning and the topic was on values. the guy leading, who i love to hear talk, defined values as what we spend our time and money on. i had never heard it put that way and really appreciated it. i would have defined it as what i think is important, which is not always what i'm putting the most emphasis on in my life. it helped me see some things a little clearer i think, reinforcing some of the things i am putting enough energy into and showing me some areas that i need to work on.
thank goodness i am a work in progress.....

gratitude

i want to share how grateful i am to god and my husband for giving me the oppurtunity to be home with my children. even though there are days i think i am going to lose my freakin mind i think it is good for all of us. mason and i have never been so close, i can see a difference in him since he gets to be home more. maybe its not so much that, as it is that i actually have time to devote to him everyday where i am not trying to do at least 5 other things at the same time.
i have been taught that gratitude is an action, so i feel like i need to focus on trying to do some things for others, other than my family that is.

they grow so fast

last night i am feeding stephen at 3 a.m. and i hear masons door open upstairs, i hold my breath & pray stephen stays quiet, i know if mason comes down & hears us it will be a struggle to get both monkeys back to bed. so i hear the door, i hear him potty, i hear him flush- i'm still holding my breath- and i hear his bedroom door close!!!!!!!!
i almost cried, i cannot believe that my baby can take care of himself so well.

10 wide

i took mr. mason to buy new shoes yesterday, his toes were about to bust through his old ones. i was proud of myself, because instead of completely forcing myself and my opinion on him i actually let him get what he wanted, what a concept. i have this thing against white shoes with pictures on them, don't ask me why. i just do not like them. so of course he wanted the white ones with fire trucks on them, that light up. i tried to convince him otherwise then realized, hey this kid is a person and within reason he should be able to pick out his shoes. so we got them..... and the cool blue and green ones that i like, of course.

stc

my sweet baby slept from 7:30 last night until 6 this morning.
enough said!
also the rasberries have begun :-)
he is so precious and brings me so much joy. mason has been playing patty cake with him and he just giggles. my children rock.

michael

let me first start by saying i love my dear husband, he deserves a meddle for the way he puts up with his crazy wife. but i think he has finally lost his mind. let me preface this by saying that we have been going back and forth on whether or not we will be birthing a 3rd child, and if so, when.
he comes home from work yesterday and says, "i think you should get off of the pill". the idea is if we are going to be crazy with two young children we might as well go ahead and go for the gold.
needless to say my response was somewhere along the lines of "are you high on crack????"

toilets

i must share that mason got out of bed on his own to go to the potty in the middle of the night, granted he started screaming for daddy when he couldn't get the toilet to flush (the chain broke) i just feel that this is quite an accomplishment, it's one step closer to his independence, and mommy not being woken up in the middle of the night! (oh yeah, daddy too)

whats with the toilet issues around my house anyway?

mason flushed a half eaten banana down the spare bathrooms toilet yesterday, and thought it was hysterical. mommy proceeded to forget that this occured until daddy used said toilet this a.m., glad the home warranty is still in effect....

happy valentines

isn't it funny how things change? what used to be a potentially exciting, romantic holiday has turned into spaghetti dinner and reading in bed! again one day.....
mason had a good day at school at his valentines party and got some treats at home. my dear husband brought me the obligatory flowers, that are beautiful, but best of all the homemade chocolate dipped strawberries! a man who knows how to make me happy.
we have had a wonderful week! so good i am keeping mason home from school today as a special treat.

my confessions

guilty pleasure #1 - every day from 12-2 on the hallmark channel, yes the hallmark channel, 7th heaven comes on. and i watch it if i'm home.
(thats better than soaps, right?)
does it make it worse that it makes me tear up????

one last thought for the day

DISTRACTION IS A MOTHERS BEST FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

motherhood

so they said it was going to be hard, they lied - its VERY hard. for me lately, anyway.
i find myself feeling powerless, incompetent, frustrated, sad, angry and afraid. afraid i am doing everything wrong and am going to do something to permanently screw up my child. i think my self doubt is coming from the fact that my 3 year old, well, is acting 3.
(oh, also my lack of faith)
he's been having some behavioral problems at school and testing testing testing at home. our mantra is consistency, consistency, consistency. but its hard to be a parent to a 3 year old when you, yourself, want to throw tantrums when you don't get your way.
argh, i've got a lot of growing up to do.
i don't think i will ever know why i have been blessed with two perfect little boys, but i have a clue for the moment. it truly is a lesson in the fact that my life is no longer about myself or my own comfort. it is about them, and i love them for this opportunity.
thats enough from the looney-bin.

its official.....

i am unemployed. i submitted my resignation on friday and am no longer an employee of smith barney. it is bitter sweet, i am excited to now be a "domestic engineer" but will actually miss the daily grind of having a jobby-job. mostly i will miss my coworkers.
obla dee obla da life goes on........

3 Months

stephen is 3 months old today! other than his second set of double ear infections and a nasty cough, he is doing well. i put him in his big boy crib in his own room a couple of weeks ago and he has taken to it rather well. sleeping has been a big issue, so i finally cut myself off from coffee and he's sleeping from about 8 until about 2 or 3. i hope for more but can survive on this!

he has found his hands and likes to suck on them. he also has begun to giggle, especially at his daddy! we're moving right along.