bebe update

i went back today to the midwives to have an ultrasound to determine a more accurate due date. it turns ourt i am FOURTEEN AND A HALF weeks along! due on january 11th. baby looks good. the only potential issue, whiich my midwife assured me was a non-issue, is that i have a low lying placenta. she said it is not previa, nor is it marginal or partial, just low lying. (which means it is close to my cervix. if the placenta covers the cervix at delivery it means a c-section would be necessary as the baby could not get out) but she assures me she is not worried, just wanted me to know to watch out for any spotting after certain "activities".
i go back in five weeks for my checkup and anatomy scan in which we will hopefully find out gender :) i am sooo relieved to be this far along. its easier to breathe and really get excited. its been strange because we've known for so long, just told everyone a couple of weeks ago, and now i'm in my second trimester. moving fast it feels like.

oh baby oh baby....oh baby

i started this post a few weeks ago and am finally wiling to share it. so the big news is that i am pregnant. yes, again. yes, with number three. yes, i am crazy. mike says he will hold me solely responsible for whatever chaos ensues as a result of having another child. we are super excited! i am anywhere from 9ish to 11ish weeks along, which puts me due sometime in january or february. i will know more definitively next friday once i have a more high-def ultrasound. we went monday to our first appointment with the midwife group. (which is a change i am going with on this pregnancy. i have done the "dr. route" twice before, both times induced, both times with an epidural. i am looking for a completely different birth experience) so she was AWESOME. she did do an ultrasound and i never cease to be amazed at how much they form so quickly. it was low-resolution so she couldn't say for sure how far along i am. but we got to see/hear babys heart beat and he/she was SO active. below are some notes i've made over the last couple of weeks:
_____________________________________

because i know i'll forget if i don't write it down. because, yes, i have PREGNANCY BRAIN..... ALREADY!!! YAY!!!!!!

i think one of the reasons why i have not been blogging is because i have had this super big news that we weren't sharing yet so most of what i have to say is related to that and would have given away my current status. like "i'm tired, i feel like i'm going to puke, i'm tired, my back hurts, i am worried something bad will happen with this pregnancy, i'm tired" ...etc....

we found out we were expecting again of course immediately because we have been trying. well and when i say trying i mean i got my iud taken out in april and we conceived within a month. man, we sure can make kids! so its a long road from conception to a comfortable time to share the news with the world.

i took my preggo test on memorial day and got an immediate verification to something i was pretty sure about, i was already feeling tired and light headed so was pretty sure. we told mason that afternoon and he was so excited. he has been saying he wants another baby, a sister to be precise. so i asked him what he would say if i told him there was a baby in my belly and he said "cool" so i said "well, there is a baby in my belly" and he looked up at me and smiled really big and said "nuh-uh" and i said uh-huh. and he said something along the lines of awesome. since then he asks me if the baby is moving yet, is the baby coming soon, will rub my belly, etc. i am so looking forward to this journey with him because he is old enough to GET what is happening, and can experience it with us. to add on to this thought last week we were laying in bed and mason asked where the baby came from. now we have had conversations about how babies are made, that they are in mammas belly, etc. but he has never asked such DETAILED quiestions. he wanted to know how baby will come out of my belly. so i told him. he looked very thoughtful and said "but it is so small" and i told him yes dear it is small but it stretches when baby comes. he did a little butthead laugh from beavis & butthead and said "unbelievable". yes, unbelievable.

i have not been to the midwives yet so am not sure when my due date is. it will either be in january or febuary (long story as to why i'm not sure but has to do with iud removal and questionable ovulation) so i am either at 6 or 9 weeks and have already gained 5 pounds. argh. i have not been going to the gym because, well i'm tired and don't want to. i can see the battle is already in progress. i keep telling myself when the boys go back to school in august it will be easier to go. we'll see, we'll see.

PREGGO OBSERVATIONS:

#1 i have a certain way i apparently like to sleep when pregnant as it started almost immediately again this time. on side, top leg thrown over, snuggling pillow. while not pregnant this makes my back hurt, but is sooo the way i sleep knocked up. (wow, knocked up. that was charming)

#2 i am a man hater at the moment. i am reading these books that are based in the middle ages and all of the fictional-yet-based-on-truth truths about women have been really pissing me off. really. even though i know its 2009 people but.... anyway. my hormones are being channeled into being pissed off.

#3 i cannot live without coffee. but though pre-pregnancy i drank it cold with a splash of milk and agave the thought of that makes me want to puke. so now its warm with a bunch of milk and sugar. weird.

#4 i am mean. to my huband. at night.

caldwell pics

with fathers day last weekend and the anniversary of my dads passing in a week or so i find myself thinking a lot about him this time of year. since its ben ten years since he died i think a lot about the past, what things were like for me and in my family at that time. it was not a good time for us then, any of us really. so over the years its been a lot of grief and saddness which over time has healed little by little to where i think more about the happy times than the sad ones. they say time heals and i think that is true if i am open to the healing and forgiveness. now the sadness i feel is about not having my dad here to know my boys, and for them to not know him. of course i want him for me too. its interesting how the pain/grief/saddness whatever you want to call it has changed over the years. it is also interesting how sometimes it can hurt almost like it did at the beginning. so mike fixed (well he said it wasn't broken) the scanner so i uploaded some of my favorite photos i have of my dad. enjoy!

surfside beach

mason and his buddy caeden taking a break

braving the water like big boys, holding hands, too cute....

yes that is my child trying to drink saltwater

look at how blue the water is!!!!! NO this is NOT florida! wow....

We had so much fun on our trip a couple of weeks ago. i thought it was going to be ruined b/c when we got there the mosquitos were RIDICULOUS!! luckily they sprayed friday night and all was right with the world. the water and weather were insanely beautiful. mike got to do some fishing and stogie smoking and we all had fun playing on the beach. our friends the andersons came to hang out on sunday and the boys had a blast swimming and making sand castles. we were so suprised to see how clear and clean the water was. standing in waist deep water you can see your feet. unbelievable. i forget how lucky i am to live so close to the ocean.

we have had a great summer so far. we have spent a lot of time at the pool. mason is really getting more and more comfortable in the water and is learning to swim better on his own. stephen is FEARLESS and loves it - a little healthy fear would be nice :) i am adjusting to having the boys home without my normal 2 day a week break (thank you preschool & MDO) last week was a little hairy. i was tired & grumpy and really struggling with a bad attitude. MUCH better the last several days. thank god, i was really getting tired of hearing myself complain. i'm finding it increasingly difficult to consistently blog, not because there is a lack of fabulous things that the children do. i think i'm just fealing lazzzzyyyyy....

summer, again?

hello summer 2009. although we've had a couple of "cold fronts" come through its sure is getting hot, right? although i do have to give mother nature credit, its been pretty nice having the highs be in the 80's.
school ended last week for both of the boys so we have 3 fun-filled months ahead. not that we have a lot going on, our only big thing is going to see mom in canada at the end of july which i am really looking forward to. i know the boys are going to have a blast and its been since when i was pregnant with mason that i went to visit them. (i know, i suck as a daughter) so we've started the summer off with haircuts, i know UBER exciting stuff.....i don't know where my little 18 month old baby has gone, he looks like such a big boy now. sniff.

and the end of the school year wouldn't be what it is without the annual SMMS year end program. its so cool that mason will actually go onstage without whining, crying, running, etc. AND he SANG some! can't wait to see what its like next year .


Mason and his buddy ryan

so stephen is 18 months old. his favorite word is NO. go figure..... he LOVES books. almost to an annoying degree. he wants to be read to all the time. which is great, really. sometimes i just. don't. want. to.
mason i think has grown like 2 feet an as many weeks. i have also been noticing some emotional maturity in him (which i am sure i will eradicate over the next 3 months!!!)
so basically my kids ROCK. i have been so enjoying spending time with my family lately. that is such a good feeling. sometimes i can go through periods of time, long periods of time, when i just don't feel connected like this. things are good!

Mothers Day

mothers day was last weekend. the fam and i went to smithville for a long weekend. mike rented a cabin on the colorado river. it was a MUCH needed vacation. mike just wrapped up another semester and with work, school & the halfway house he has been really busy. the boys really enjoyed having him to themselves with no interruptions. and everyone got along, even the grownups :)

we hung out, went fishing, swam, hunted grasshoppers, made smores, and were just lazy together. thanks honey for a FABULOUS weekend! i put more pics up on facebook b/c its easier to upload there.

new do